Yes, this is a text for singles. But don’t panic! Don’t leave yet. Because if you are dating or married, you can send this blog post to someone. Of course, I don’t have a perfect marriage. After all, how could a relationship be if it is made up of two imperfect people. But if someone were to ask me for advice regarding this subject, I would pass along some that are listed below.
#1 – Before looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend, look for a relationship with God
Only God can complete you, heal you, and give meaning to your life. After all, who better than your Creator to reveal the purposes for which you came into the world? He knows all the precious things deposited in your life (skills, gifts, talents, characteristics, sensitivity to specific issues/things) because He is the one who put them all in you. And He knows exactly why you are the way you are.
And if you think you have no value or qualities, you are very wrong! You were made in God’s image (Gen. 1.27) and everything He does is good (Gen. 1.31). You are a beloved child of the Lord (1 Jn. 3:1) and you were bought at a high price (1 Cor. 6:20). Regarding gifts and talents, we have all received them, according to grace for the building up of the church and the Kingdom (Romans 12:6-8). Read these passages and truly seek to have a deep relationship with the Father. Only the Holy Spirit can confirm all this in your heart and reveal God’s truth to you.
So, seeking first of all a relationship with God is what will truly satisfy you. Make no mistake: a boyfriend, husband or wife will never be able to satisfy you completely. No one finite and imperfect will ever be able to. Only the One who is Eternal and Perfect. Another point about this tip is that, if you have a life of intimacy with the Lord, you will probably attract the attention of someone who also cares.
#2 – Know who you really are!
This second tip is a consequence of the first. If you have a relationship with God, you will discover in Him your true identity and purpose. And this way, a boyfriend, girlfriend, or future spouse can never belittle you, or change who you really are. On the contrary, you will know when the person recognizes and honors what God is doing in your life. You will also know if the person pushes you to live your purpose and calling, or if he or she hinders you from living the Father’s will for you.
Another important point: when you are secure and well resolved, you become someone who will push your partner to live God’s will and not make the relationship toxic. When we have needs and insecurities that need to be healed by God, we can become selfish people, jealous, overly dependent, controlling, etc.
Of course, everyone always has points to be improved and issues that need healing. And this is precisely why first we need to be at the Lord’s feet. Because only He can help us and make us grow.
#3 – There are prices to be paid
Every relationship requires giving in some way. Many times in the love relationship we can focus only on what the other person can give us, even without realizing it, and we forget that we are also committed to that relationship.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not mistreat, it does not seek its own interests, it is not easily angered, it does not hold a grudge. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
In addition to observing the person you are with, observe whether you have been putting your interests above everything else in the relationship or whether you have been acting as God’s Word expects.
Another point worth commenting on is that, at least in my generation, I have always found my friends very focused on their career and professional ambitions. For a relationship to work out, the two of you would need to be at the same point in life, so that neither’s goal would be hindered. Of course, you are a person with dreams and with purposes that God has uniquely given you, but in a relationship at certain times one of you will have to give something up, perhaps delay some project for things to work out and for you to be able to build a life together. Depending on the moment, it will be your turn to give in. So it is also important to be with someone who recognizes God’s plans for your life so that person knows when it is their time to give something up to support you.
#4 – Look at true beauty
Of course, physical attraction is important yes in a life together. But don’t let someone’s physical beauty keep you from looking inward and looking for qualities that will make a difference in the long run.
Beauty is deceitful, and beauty is fleeting; but the woman who fears the Lord will be praised. – Proverbs 31:30
If you are someone who seeks to live God’s will, don’t forget to look to those who value the same things you do and understand your calling. Don’t forget to look at whether that person will help you grow as a human being and push you to live closer to the Lord. We become eternal from the moment we receive Christ and as the verse from Proverbs says, beauty is fleeting. Therefore, it will not be enough to satiate someone whose values concern eternity.
I have an important tip here! We are launching a new Christian dating app: the Christian Circle. We want to use technology to connect people who dream of building a marriage and family in God’s presence. We are still in beta phase. That’s why users are just starting to sign up, and your feedback is very important. Maybe now you can find THE PERSON…
God bless you!
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