The addiction to being seen
How desperately do you want people to like you?
It is good to be loved. It is good to know that we are cherished, respected, and welcomed. The problem begins when the desire to be accepted ceases to be just a wish and turns into a necessity. When the approval of others starts to determine our choices, our identity, and even the way we see ourselves.
There is a difference between wanting to be loved and needing to be approved. One thing is born from relationship; the other can be born from fear. And when we live for human eyes, there will never be enough eyes upon us to finally make us feel satisfied.
Necessary Approval
“For they loved the glory of men more than the glory of God.”
John 12:43
We do not need more statistics about our lives. We already have the greatest one: we were created by God and known by Him. Yet, we often live trying to increase the numbers of our approval: more compliments, more people liking us, fewer criticisms, more recognition, more eyes on what we do. It seems that if we can be admired enough, we will finally be secure.
But this euphoria never lasts. The compliment arrives and, for a few moments, we feel filled. Then, we need another, and then another, and another...
A criticism appears and what we have built within ourselves seems to crumble. So we seek approval again. It is like an addiction: the more we receive, the more we need to receive. And the more we depend on it, the more vulnerable we become to anyone's opinion.
That is why Paul writes in Galatians 1:10 that we should not live as those who constantly seek the approval of men, but as servants of Christ:
“Am I now trying to win the approval of God, or of men? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
The question, then, is not simply: “Do people like me?” The question is: “For whom am I living?”
Called Children
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!”
1 John 3:1
There is something that human approval can never give us: identity. People may praise what we do, admire our talents, and recognize our achievements, but only God can tell us who we are. And, in Christ, He calls us children.
This is a truth that changes everything. When we understand that we are loved by God not because we are perfect, but because He decided to love us and reach us by grace, the desperate need to prove our worth begins to lose its strength. We do not need to build an image to win what Christ has already offered us. We do not need to convince the world that we are important when we have already been received by God Himself.
This does not mean we should stop caring about our image or live in just any way. On the contrary. We are called to live in such a way that Christ is seen in us:
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”
Matthew 5:16
Notice the difference: we do not live for our own glory, but so that, when they see us, they may encounter the glory of God. Our image ceases to be an altar for our ego and becomes a window to Christ.
Glory of God
“Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.”
John 4:14
Perhaps the real problem is not what we are trying to get from others, but what we are trying to replace. We are trying to quench the thirst of the soul with compliments, recognition, followers, approval, and acceptance. But none of these things were created to take the place of God.
Jesus presents a different water. A water that does not need to be constantly renewed by the gaze of people; it remains the same and with the same effectiveness, because it is born from God Himself and reaches the inner being. The Word also describes the sweetness of this presence in Psalm 119:103:
“How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!”
When we taste the grace of God, we begin to realize that what the world offers is too small to fill what only Christ can fill. Human praise may be pleasant, but it is not enough. Someone's approval may gladden the heart, but it cannot sustain an identity. We can lose applause, positions, recognition, and even people around us and, still, have everything: Christ!
That is why faith frees us from the shackles of human eyes. We do not need to spend our lives trying to build our own glory. We can rest in the glory of the One who created us. We can do good without needing to be seen. We can serve without receiving recognition. We can be criticized without falling apart. We can be forgotten by men without being forgotten by God.
Not even Jesus pleased everyone. He was rejected, criticized, misunderstood, and then crucified. Even so, He did not allow the opinion of people to determine His mission. His life was turned toward the Father.
When our eyes are fixed on Christ, the addiction to being seen begins to die. We already have the gaze of Christ upon us; why live to win others? Even if we have nothing else, if we have Christ, we already have everything.
And that is infinitely sweeter than any human compliment.
by
Rapha Abreu is a journalist and cultural producer, and part of the marketing, writing and content production team at Mr. Rocco.
