Does the chosen one exist? Perhaps you yourself have already gone to ask for advice on the sentimental area and heard different opinions on the subject. But what I want to share here are some practical tips to look for when choosing someone to share your life with, because there are characteristics and correct attitudes, according to the Word of God. If you are already married, please share this text with someone who is single.
#1 Choose someone who truly loves JESUS
It sounds cliché, but I decided to go with this tip because the truth is that no one is perfect, but if the person you date truly loves Jesus, he will be in a constant process of sanctification and improvement. If the Gospel is true and real in someone’s life, it always produces transformation. Someone who submits to the discipleship of Christ, will always proceed to a teachable, humble heart that seeks to do the Father’s will. This one would be in my opinion the best match!
Look at what Ap. Paulo writes in his letter to the Philippians in relation to the constant growth we have through Jesus:
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. – Philippians 1:9-11
Recently I have had so many important cracks about thoughts and behaviors that I need to change. And I believe if I walked without Jesus, this would not have happened. Likewise, this year my husband went through some good trials. He was hospitalized for 10 days with covid and had so many experiences with God. Jesus spoke to him so much about important points in life that needed to be changed. I believe that without Jesus maybe this could have been a more traumatic experience and without so much learning.
#2 Look for a righteous character
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?” – Luke 16:10-11
Flaws and different ways are impossible to avoid in a life together. But if there’s something I look for, it’s an upstanding and honest character. This is a very personal criterion of mine for everything, even for friendships that I want to cultivate closer. I love having people who act honestly and sincerely around me. People who don’t get the hang of it when it comes to money. Who don’t lie to parents or friends. People who are not afraid to show who they really are to fit into a group or to be accepted by me. I believe that whoever acts righteously and sincerely in all these things will be a sincere and faithful husband or wife too.
When we choose someone to marry, we are entrusting that person with all kinds of wealth: emotional, financial, spiritual (since we share our purposes and calling), children (which are the greatest inheritance), among many others. Is this person worthy of being a part of you in all of this? And I turn the question around as well: are you worthy to share all these riches in the life of the person you are dating?
Being with someone who generates distrust produces several bad feelings in us, including jealousy, which corrodes us from the inside. Of course, jealousy is often something we need to deal with in ourselves, but lack of trust cooperates to generate feelings like that.
#3 Is the person you dating your companion for everything?
When I ask this question, it is in the sense of knowing if the person you are with is generous, patient, able to give up things to help you, to be with you, to really be your companion. Many times we can be with someone who places different expectations on us and acts in a selfish way, just hoping to consume something. Hoping that in us she will have her expectations and desires fulfilled. Or someone who is unable to give up anything to make the relationship work.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not mistreat, it does not seek its own interests, it is not easily angered, it does not hold a grudge. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
This verse brings us some characteristics of love: kindness, patience, humility, not looking for your own interests, not holding grudges. Finally, this passage reveals important characteristics to be observed in the way of loving, both ours and the person with whom we relate. Therefore, beware of abusive relationships, in which the person acts in a controlling, spiteful, angry or self-serving way. See if the person you are with sees what God has done and wants to do in their life. And if she prioritizes being a facilitator of all this. Those who consume you in a selfish and selfish way can often be a barrier for you to be and live what God has for you. And be you someone who approaches and collaborates so that your partner lives the purposes of the Lord.
I have an important last tip here! We are launching a new Christian dating app: the Christian Circle. We want to use technology to connect people who dream of building a marriage and family in God’s presence. We are still in beta phase. That’s why users are just starting to sign up, and your feedback is very important. Maybe now you can find THE PERSON…