Today I want to open this text with a story, since I was very young I have always been afraid of the dark. And it was not little, it tormented my parents night in and night out. They came to my room, prayed with me, told me stories, but not always these things solved it.
When I was 11 years old during a period I started to suffer with epileptic crises at night, due to abnormal brain discharges, which can be caused by conditions such as hypoglycemia or low blood sugar. Thanks to our good God, these episodes of crises happened few times, but unfortunately they left a bad mark, which was the fear of sleeping and having a crisis again.
Once again I saw my fear at night that came since childhood being reinforced and when I started to relax my body, about to sleep I had the following thought: “but what if something bad happens?”, this made me unable to rest and consequently made my parents crazy too, being a situation that we had to face as a family.
I remember that at the time, my parents bought a Christian book that talked about fear to read with me, which helped to some extent, but at other times it made me feel bad, because I started to think that I was to blame for what I was going through, that I wasn’t being strong enough and that God was angry with me for feeling that way.
Surely this was not my parents’ goal, they just wanted to see me better and be able to sleep in peace, but unfortunately the book had more of a, pardon the expression, “gospel sensationalism” content. Meanwhile, I am also sure that God was not angry with me, after all, He knows me better than anyone else, He knew exactly what was going on in my organism, and just like my parents, He wanted to get rid of this evil.
The fear diminished, but did not disappear
It was not easy, but with time I grew up, understood why I went through that illness and this fear diminished a lot, however, it did not disappear from my life, today I can stay in the dark, but I admit I do not feel totally comfortable about it, that is why today I am writing about this subject, last night when praying this came to my mind and made me think: how many people have not felt this way? I mean, afraid of fear.
Fear is something natural and inevitable, in life we will go through situations that will bring learning, but that can also leave a mark, so before I continue I would like to tell you that it’s okay and that you don’t need to feel guilty/blamed for feeling this, God knows you well and doesn’t condemn you for this, but you were called to live His fullness in your life and if there are fears generated in childhood that still hinder you, it’s time to overcome them.
For our Father is greater than any fear, and you are never, NEVER alone. Fear in general happens when we feel that we have no control over a situation, so I want to remind you that Jesus’ disciples had to live by faith and not by what they saw, and this is also our reality. We cannot have control over everything and that is a good thing, because that is where faith lies and in Christ we find consolation and liberation from these childhood fears.
Therefore, our faith in what we know about Christ is what sustains and liberates us. So the first step is to surrender this fear to the Lord, to understand that you are not alone, not to blame yourself for feeling this way, but to seek help. The fear I had prevented me many times from having a peaceful night, but maybe yours is in other areas, what I know is that God is by our side to overcome any fear. I leave here some verses for you:
I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.Psalm 34:4
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.Isaiah 41:10
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.Psalm 23:4
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.John 14:27
God bless you!